Understanding
by S.C. Preclarus Noctis
Summary: Before she entered the Chamber, Ginny made a promise to Tom. Now,in her 6th year,her promise is still well kept within her heart. She's seeking answers, and so is Draco. But the answers already lie deep in their own minds. They just need to understand it.
1. Prologue:Secrets of the Heart

**_Understanding_**

**Disclaimer****: **I do not own Harry Potter and other related materials, for they all belong to J.K. Rowling. I quoted a lot of _Chamber of Secrets_ in this chapter. I used the same exact dialogue that they said, but it's from Ginny's point of view. ****

**Author's Note****: **I'm sorry. I'm so bad. I'm starting a new story, when I should be working on _Without Trust There is No Love_. Oh well. This is going to be a love…pentagon story. Yeah. Love pentagon rocks. Haha. Who needs triangles when you have pentagons?****

**Prologue: Secrets of the Heart**

_The day I discovered Tom could be one of the best days of my life. How lucky was I to get someone to finally understand my woe and my pain. Perhaps I was just entering the adolescent phase of, what people call, "teen angst". I'd never know. All I ever knew during that year was that my love for Tom grew steadily. He was everything to me. I loved him as a child would love her doll. Little did I know that I had turned into his toy, his puppet, his doll._

_ If most people discovered a diary in their cauldron, they would put it to some use. And that's what I did. I didn't know how the diary got there, but I didn't care. A naïve child was I, a foolish girl. I should have known Lucius Malfoy slipped it into my cauldron. I should have known._

_ I first wrote in it at the Burrow in the dark hours of the night. At first, I thought it was just a normal diary-like anyone else would think. What a shock I got when it wrote back to me! It answered my very questions that I had written before it. The diary introduced itself as "Tom Marvolo Riddle", like it was written in the back in faded, gold letters._

_ "What is your name?"_

_ "Ginevra Molly Weasley…but you can call me Ginny."_

_ "What a lovely name."_

_ Thus, began a beautiful friendship between me and Tom._

_ I wrote to it, day and night. I told him of the events that were happening in my life. He always seemed unusually interested whenever I mentioned Harry. He didn't seem to care of my hopeless infatuation that I had for the Boy-Who-Lived. No, he didn't say it to me directly. But in my heart, I knew he really wasn't interested. So when he asked information of the famous Harry Potter, I heeded his words._

_ I probably told Tom his whole life story. And that is when Tom began to scare me. I would black out and then awake, finding the blood of a rooster all on my hands. And every time I woke from a black out, one of the students at Hogwarts would be petrified._

_ For some time, I was in denial. I would reassure myself that my magic skills where not capable of reaching the level of petrifying people. I confided in Tom, and he gave me words of comfort. He told me that everything would be alright, and he would see to it that it would be. _

_ After a while, I began to suspect that it was Tom. I grew frightened of him, yet I was torn by my growing love for him. It's true that I still loved Harry, but I only thought of it as a mere crush. However, my love for Tom was real, and it was deep. But I could not stand his frightening power over me._

_ Before I decided to throw the diary away, I decided to write one last thing to Tom-just to make sure._

_ "Do you know anything about these attacks?"_

_ "Yes."_

_ "Who's attacking?"_

_ "I'm afraid if I tell you, it might frighten you to death. We wouldn't want that, would we?"_

_ "No, I guess not, but I need to know, Tom."_

_ "Silly girl…it's you."_

_ When I read those words, I felt numbness spread all over my body. My hands shook as I wrote a reply._

_ "How can it be?!"_

_ "Well, don't you ever wonder whenever you black out, a new student is petrified? Think about it, Ginny. The blood of the rooster all over your hands, and you wake up to see there is a message of blood on the walls of Hogwarts. I thought you'd be able to figure it out by now."_

_ "Did you do this to me, Tom?"_

_ "Yes."_

_ "Why? I thought you were my friend."_

_ For some time, it seemed to me that Tom hesitated to answer. But at last, he wrote, "I am your friend, Ginny. You just have to trust me."_

_ I shut the diary, and I took it to the girls' bathroom. The girls' bathroom where no one ever went to. (Or so I thought) Blindly, I threw it in one of the stalls and ran. Tears streamed down my face, and I felt as if my heart was about to shatter. I loved Tom so much. For days, I could not bear to look at Harry because in a vague memory Tom looked like Harry._

_ But a day came, when I thought I was going to die of shock. It was the day I saw Harry holding the diary. Rather, Draco Malfoy was holding it and taunting him about it. I stood frozen at the spot. A surge of jealous came within me, for a reason still unknown to me today. Harry had the diary, he had Tom-not I. But I was more afraid that Tom would betray me by telling Harry everything for which I had done. I had to get it back._

_ Of course, I knew it was wrong to go in the boy's dormitory and go through Harry's things. But I had to get it. I felt insane, crazy, and mad-I needed the diary more than anything. It was like withdrawal from a drug. Tom was my drug. He was my addiction. I needed him back. The diary had become a part of me._

_ I got the diary back. I found it in the deepest part of Harry's trunk. Even if I loved Tom so, I still did not trust something about the diary. I finally figured that it was me who was attacking everyone, or someone was doing it for me. Whatever it was at the time, I needed to tell Ron. That morning, I gathered up my courage to tell Ron. He was with Harry, eating his breakfast. Nervously, I sat down next to him, avoiding Harry's gaze._

_ "What's up?" Ron said, with mouth full of food._

_ I didn't answer. I twisted my hands in my lap nervously. I looked up and down the Gryffindor table to make sure no one was listening. _

_ "Spit it out." Ron persisted._

_ I felt Harry's eyes burning on me. I couldn't answer him. I opened my mouth but my throat tied up. No sound came out of my mouth. Finally, with a deep breath I said a few words._

_ "I've got to tell you something…"_

_ "What is it?" Harry said, looking concerned._

_ "_What_?" Ron pressed._

_ I didn't speak. Harry leaned in and said, "Is it something about the Chamber of Secrets? Have you seen something? Someone acting oddly?"_

_ I drew a breath and was just about to answer. But my older brother, Percy, came. "If you've finished eating, I'll take that seat, Ginny. I'm starving, I've only just come off patrol duty."_

_ I jumped out of the seat and gave Percy a frightened look. Without another word, I hurried away from the table. I could not tell them. They would hate me forever. I also realized that I couldn't betray Tom. _

_ When I got back, I immediately started writing in the diary. I apologized to Tom for being so rash and not thinking before I acted. I promised that I'd never leave him again. It was then I confessed my love for him._

_ "If you love me, Ginny, will you promise me something?"_

_ "What?"_

_ "Promise me that whatever happens, you will always love me."_

_ "Why do you say this?"_

_ "I fear a time will come where you will hate me."_

_ "That will never happen, Tom. I love you."_

_ "I only hope so, Ginny."_

_ After that, I do not remember what happened. Vaguely, I remember seeing Tom come out of the diary. He spoke something I could not understand. Darkness took over my memory._

_ I was somewhere dark and damp. I felt cold, and I remember shivering from head to toe. Dried blood was covered over two of my fingers. I tried wiping it off on my robes, but it was stained there. I started looking around the foreign place I was in. There were statues of huge snakes all over, and a statue of a man in front of me. I figured that it was Salazar Slytherin. I felt cold-coldness I had never felt before. It felt as if all the blood I had inside me was slowly draining away._

_ "Where am I?" I wondered aloud._

_ Suddenly, a pale hand came upon my shoulder. I screamed and quickly jumped away in fright. A boy at the age of sixteen stood before me. He was handsome with dark hair. At once, I knew it was my beloved-Tom Riddle._

_ "Tom," I breathed. "Oh, where are we?"_

_ At first, he did not reply. For a moment, he just stared at me and observed every inch of me. He came forward and held me close to him._

_ "Do you remember your promise, Ginny?" he asked._

_ He was at least a foot and a half taller than me. But somehow, it felt so right in his arms._

_ "I do remember." I whispered._

_ He stroked my hair, and I shivered under his touch. I was still cold even in his arms._

_ "I'm so cold." I said. "Where are we?"_

_ "The Chamber of Secrets."_

_ I gasped and pushed away from him. "Why did you bring me here?"_

_ Tom came towards me and said, "Because I need to make everything right."_

_ Puzzled, I stared at him. I could not understand what he was talking about. What was he trying to make right?_

_ "Set what right, Tom?" I said, weakly._

_ All my strength was deprived from me at that very moment. I felt weak, and I fell to the ground. Tears streamed down my face, and I looked up at Tom. He did not help me. I felt as if he were leaving me to die. I felt a surge of sorrow come within my aching heart. Betrayal, abandoned, heartbroken I sat on the cold ground, sobbing._

_ "Tom," I sobbed._

_ He looked down at me and said, "I'm sorry I had to do this to you, Ginny." He smiled cruelly and said bitterly, "Any moment now your precious Harry will come here, in an attempt to rescue you. It's what you've always wanted, wasn't it-for him to care about your existence and welfare?"_

_ He laughed and continued, "I'm giving you what you always wished for, Ginny. You should thank me."_

_ "No," I gasped. _

_ "Good-bye Ginevra Molly Weasley, for you will cease to be living soon. Foolish girl, you never knew who I really was. Let me reintroduce myself: I am Lord Voldemort…"_

_ Then, everything faded to black._

_ Abruptly, I woke. Harry was standing beside me, his robes covered with blood. He had the diary in his hand, and he was looking down at me. Realization hit me. Tom was gone. I didn't know if I was supposed to be heartbroken, relieved, or angry. My feelings were mixed. But I knew I couldn't show them in front of Harry. I also realized that he knew everything that I did. I began to sob. _

_ "Harry-oh, Harry-I tried to tell you at b-breakfast, but I c-couldn't say it in front of Percy-it was me, Harry-But I-I s-swear I d-didn't mean to-R-Riddle made me, he t-took me over-and-how did you kill that-that thing? Where's Riddle? The last thing I r-remember is him coming out of the diary-"_

_ "It's all right." Harry said, as he held up the diary. I noticed there was a hole in the middle of it. "Riddle's finished. Look! Him and the basilisk. C'mon, Ginny, let's get out of here-"_

_ I started rambling again. I began crying about how I was going to be expelled, and how I was afraid of what my parents would say. Secretly, I was crying because Tom was gone from my life. Perhaps, he was gone forever. For some reason, I was not afraid of him. Even after he said he was Voldemort, I still loved him the same. It was strange._

_ Harry led me out of the chamber. And I remember feeling the same love for Harry as I felt for him when I first laid eyes on him. Ron hugged me when he saw me, and we all came out of the chamber alive. _

_ I wasn't expelled from Hogwarts._

_ After that event, I never trusted anyone so easily. I guess, in a way, Tom taught me not to trust, not to be naïve, and never to give myself in so easily. I still love him deeply inside the secrets within my heart. My promise to him has never been broken. It's true that I may lust after the great Harry Potter, and I love him more now after saving me gallantly from the Chamber of Secrets. But my love for Tom was and is real. Even if my hate for him still comes from my aching heart. Deeply, I love him. Forever, I will love him. I will wait for him. You may not understand why, and even I couldn't tell you why. I guess it's because he was the first friend I ever had-and my first love. They say first love is never forgotten, and I suppose it's true. My promise will be forever kept. No one will wash this love away._


	2. Chapter 1: Shame

**_ Understanding_**

****

**Disclaimer:**I do not own Harry Potter and other related materials, for they all belong to J.K. Rowling. I quoted a lot of the dialogue from_ Order of the Phoenix_, but it is from Draco's point of view. The song "Understanding (Wash It All Away)" belongs to Evanescence. It is one of their old songs.

**Author's Note:**Hopefully, I'll be able to finish this story because as everyone knows, I suck at writing long stories. I bet **Anna** and** Melanie** hate me for not continuing _Without Trust there is No Love_. I'm sorry. I'll continue it as the year goes by.

Oh yes, and for the reviewers who asked if that is the end of the story, no it's not. Here it is! The first chapter! Or second…depending if you count the prologue as a chapter…

Thanks to** Anna** for beta-ing my lame stories! .

**_"You hold the answers deep within your own mind._**

**_Consciously, you've forgotten it,_**

**_ That's the way the human mind works. _**

**_Whenever there is something too unpleasant, too shameful for us to entertain,_**

**_ We reject it. _**

**_We erase it from our memories. But the imprint is always there…"_**

_(Can't wash it all away)_

_(Can't wish it all away)_

_(Can't hope it all away)_

_(Can't cry it all away)_

_The pain that grips you_

_The fear that binds you_

_Releases life in me_

**_In our mutual_**

**_Shame we hide our eyes_**

**_To blind them from the truth_**

**_That finds a way for who we are_**

**Chapter 1: Shame**

For a while, Draco sat alone in a compartment. The train had not departed from Platform 9 ¾ yet because it was only 10:30. Draco arrived early because he didn't want to be in the crowd. He could not stand the glares he got from most of his classmates that were not in the Slytherin house. Some of them would occasionally send a hex flying over to him and other Slytherins that were known to have some association with Death Eaters. The war had begun in the magical world, but it had fired up a war in the walls of Hogwarts.

He thought they would have accepted the fact that his own father was a Death Eater. The news had been out for nearly two years now, and they still start at him like they just found out yesterday. Perhaps it was the war that made them frightened of Draco. The War made everyone believe he was just like his father.

Draco let out a sigh as he saw Pansy, Goyle, and Crabbe step into the compartment. He acknowledged their presence with a nod, and they did the same. Pansy sat across from Draco. Crabbe and Goyle sat next to Draco. Pansy wasn't the same pug-faced girl that she was. She had matured now, and she had grown to be a rather pretty girl.

"I see you're early, Draco." Pansy said, tonelessly.

"As always, Parkinson." Draco muttered.

"Why so early?" Pansy asked.

"You know why. It's the same reason you're all here before the crowds come." Draco answered, leaning back on the chair.

"Or maybe we just came because we knew you'd be here." grunted Goyle.

Draco shot Goyle an irritated glare, which made him mutter a sorry and look away. Pansy rolled her eyes and leaned forward.

"What are you so ashamed of, Draco?" Pansy asked.

Draco closed his eyes irritably and did not answer. He began to hear indistinct chatter of some students coming aboard the train.

"You don't understand." Draco said, quietly.

"Oh,_ please _don't start wallowing up in self-pity, Malfoy!" Pansy snapped, angrily. "_Of course_ we know what it's like. You know, you aren't the only person with a father for a Death Eater!"

"I know I'm not, god damn it!" Draco said, angrily.

Crabbe and Goyle exchanged nervous glances. They sensed that Pansy and Draco were going to have another row.

"We'll just be leaving…" mumbled Crabbe, slipping away with Goyle out of the compartment.

Draco and Pansy ignored them, still glaring at each other dangerously.

"You sure don't act like you know!" Pansy retorted.

"Whatever, Parkinson" Draco said, coolly. "I don't feel like wasting my breath on you."

He crossed his arms and looked away from her. Pansy, stomped her foot on the ground angrily.

"No!" Pansy shouted, "You're going to listen to me, Draco Malfoy!"

He shot her an annoyed glare. She continued in a low and dangerous tone, "There's no fucking shame you should feel about your father. Who cares about what the others think about us, Draco?"

Draco didn't answer, so Pansy continued, "Damn them all because in the end they'll know they were wrong about the Dark Lord."

"Wow, Parkinson. When did you meet up and have a deep, meaningful chat with my father?" Draco said, sarcastically.

Pansy shook her head and sighed. For a while, they sat across from each other in silence. Draco closed his eyes, again, and tried to shut out the noise coming from the outside. He also tried to shut out the thoughts of what was to come this year. But mostly, he was trying to block out what had happened during the summer.

"Draco, I know like I sound like a bunch of crap. Believe me; I sometimes think I'm lying to myself about these things." Pansy said, quietly.

Draco opened his eyes and met her gaze.

"I guess, I feel the shame in this too." Pansy said. "The same shame you feel."

For a moment, their eyes locked at each other's gaze. Draco began to realize how thankful he was to have Pansy to help him through everything. Even though she didn't understand what Draco was going through, he still appreciated her. He loved her, but it was no more than out of friendship.

  
"Don't forget about the Head Boy, Head Girl, and Prefect meeting in the front compartment when everyone arrives." she reminded, lightly.

  
Draco nodded, and she left the compartment. It left Draco back to his thoughts, back to the beginning of his nightmares. Draco looked out the window that was facing a brick wall. The chatter seemed to fade away as he became lost within his own morbid thoughts.

* * *

_All this started at the end of my fifth year at Hogwarts. Potter and his friends' went to the Department of Mysteries located inside the Ministry buildings. I heard it was because Potter had a vision of Sirius Black being hurt by Voldemort. Therefore, he foolishly believed that it was real. Thus going to the Department of Mysteries, where what awaited him was supposed to be death. But like always, he escaped death. Unfortunately, Black did not. _

_ At the Department of Mysteries, Death Eaters, including my father, were sent to retrieve some prophecy. They were expected to kill Potter and his friends, retrieve the prophecy, and give it to the Dark Lord. But they didn't know Potter was much more than they bargained for, as always. What did they expect? I must admit, he_ did_ defeat Voldemort four times or something. If you ask me, I think the Death Eaters underestimated that idiot. _

_ From what I've heard, there was a duel between Dumbledore and the Dark Lord. But no one really recalls what exactly happened at the time. _

_ Out of Potter's stupidity, not thinking before he acted, Black died. But to most people, he did some good that day. He helped Aurors catch a bunch of Death Eaters, which made him a beloved hero once again. And it landed my father into Azkaban prison. I remember being very angry at Potter. I even confronted that stupid scar head._

_ I saw him in the Entrance Hall. He stopped when he caught sight of Crabbe, Goyle, and me. I stopped too. I looked around for any teachers. When I made sure there weren't any, I looked at him with a deadly glare._

_ "You're dead, Potter." I threatened._

_ "Funny," he said, raising an eyebrow. "You'd think I'd have stopped walking around…"_

_ I struggled not to run forward and punch him. "You're going to pay," I said in a quiet, but dangerous tone. "_I'm_ going to make you pay for what you've done to my father…"_

_ "Well, I'm terrified now," he said with much sarcasm in his voice. "I s'pose Lord Voldemort's just a warm-up act compared to you three--" I flinched at the sound of the name. "What's the matter? He's your dad's mate, isn't he? Not scared of him, are you?"_

_ I glared at him and advanced towards him. "You think you're such a big man, Potter," I said. "You wait. I'll have you. You can't land my father in prison."_

_ "I thought I just had." he replied._

_ "The dementors have left Azkaban. Dad and the others'll be out in no time…" I said, half lying just to reassure myself._

_ "Yeah, I expect they will. Still, at least everyone knows what scumbags they are now." Harry said._

_ In an instant, all the rage inside of me had exploded. I quickly reached for my wand, but Potter had already gotten his wand out. I knew he would have cursed me if Professor Snape hadn't stepped into our little conversation._

_ "Potter!" he yelled from across the Entrance Hall._

_ Then, I saw how Potter quickly changed his face. I could see hatred beyond his hate for me. It was as though Snape had set off an explosion of rage inside of Potter. For a moment, I was actually kind of afraid that he was going to curse Snape._

_ "What are you doing, Potter?" Snape asked, coldly._

_ "I'm trying to decide what curse to use on Malfoy, sir," Harry said, angrily._

_ During those last few days, thoughts of disgrace crept into my head. And I'll admit that I was somewhat embarrassed that word got out about my father, the great Lucius Malfoy, was one of the Death Eaters. It's hard to explain why I was ashamed. I just felt like a disgrace. At the time, only my father had been caught. The other Death Eaters who were caught did not have children going to Hogwarts, so it became a big deal for me. The spotlight came down to me, blinded me, and burned me. _

_ I visited my father often while he was in Azkaban. He seemed to grow a bit mad at his stay in Azkaban. Even though the dementors already left, he was still crazy. He would rave on about how he would be getting out soon and being with the Dark Lord._

_ "Soon!" he would say, madly. "I will rejoin with my master, and this war-this last war to vanquish the world of Mudbloods and Muggles-will be won by us!"_

_ I truly believed that the solitary confinement he was put in made him slightly off his rocker. But what he said was true. Very soon, even sooner than I had expected, he and the other Death Eaters broke out of Azkaban. It didn't come as a big surprise for me... I knew that, without the dementors, the Ministry could not hold Death Eaters in a prison for long. The war was about to begin, and nothing could stand in the Dark Lord's way. Especially not Azkaban. _

_ It was in my sixth year, when they broke out. It was the morning of October second, when the owls swooped down, dropping a copy of the Daily Prophet to everyone who subscribed. There were gasps and clutter of silverware all in unison, when they looked at the huge, bolded headline: "**DEATH EATERS ESCAPE FROM AZKABAN!**" There was a list of the Death Eater names, and it included Lucius Malfoy. That, I believe, was the real start of the war. It was the start of war in the magical world, and the start of it in Hogwarts._

_ As the weeks went by, the Daily Prophet began putting a list of names of people who they believed were Death Eaters at the time. Naturally, they were almost all associated with the Slytherin students. They were either a parent, uncle, cousin, aunt, brother, or grandfather to at least one of the Slytherins. Thus, it began war among the houses. It was Slytherin vs. Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff. _

_ Not one person from one of the three allied houses associated with a Slytherin. It was against some unwritten rule. Some of the Gryffindors found it hilarious to hex the Slytherins when they were obliviously walking through a crowded corridor. I was their favorite target. The first day when they listed my father's name, a Gryffindor put the leg locker curse on me when I was walking to Potions. I fell, face first, on the marble floor, and it left a bruise on my cheek. A crowd of the three houses laughed, and I caught phrases of their taunting._

_ "Son of a Death Eater-"_

_ "Piece of filth…"_

_ "He deserves it…"_

_ I never caught sight of the person who did that, but it didn't matter anyway. After the whole list of suspected Death Eaters were released, many more Slytherins got the same "punishment" I got and even worse. It didn't make sense to me. What were they trying to prove, by hexing us in the corridors or when we didn't noticed? Was it even our fault that someone we're related to is a Death Eater? _

_ The teachers couldn't do anything about it. Taking away house points didn't affect their minds nor did it make them lessen their hatred towards the Slytherins. Detention didn't do much either. The things the students did weren't bad enough for expulsion. _

_ Some of the "allied three" were ready to do the worse to Slytherins. Mainly because one of the Death Eaters killed a relative or it was because they just hated Slytherins. Mad with hatred, they attacked any Slytherin who got in their way. Unfortunately, I accidentally got in this Ravenclaw's way. But I was too fast for him for the idiot to do anything, and he ended up staying in the hospital wing for a week. _

_ And that is how Hogwarts is right now. It's chaotic. It's full of hatred, and I'm dreading it. I wonder, sometimes, if the war made everyone like this. Or maybe they were already like this, but the war just brought out their anger. I'd never really know. My father always told me how great this war was, and how it will justify us all. I'm not so sure I believe him. I want to believe him, but I don't. I've seen what the Death Eaters have done to their enemies. It's worse than any one of the Unforgivable Curses. They do much more than torture with a spell._

_ They torture the enemies physically…cutting off fingers, taking out the eyes, severing any part of the body; anything you could think of as torture. They make the enemy live with such torment until they are begging for death. But they never give it to them so easily. They don't give them death until they reveal the secrets of the other enemies. Usually, they never do. I've witnessed all this during the summer. I saw this happening. I've heard their screams of agony, which still haunt me in my dreams._

_ Many people don't know that the Death Eaters do this to their enemies. Everyone just thinks the Cruciatus Curse is the only way of their torture. How wrong these people are…_

* * *

_ I followed my father down to the dungeons, where they kept all the captured. It was damp, and it smelled something terrible. He led me into a cell, where a man was chained to a wall. He had blood stained all over his robes, and he resembled a skeleton with skin. However, I saw that this man never lost his courage, and he didn't cower from my father as he entered. _

_ "I see you've brought your son here," he said, hoarsely. "Death Eater in training?" He looked at me with his sunken eyes._

_ Before I could even consider an answer, my father had kicked the man in the stomach. Blood came out of his mouth and he gasped in pain. I stared, in shock, at the sudden movements of my father, and he didn't do it with a second thought. _

_ "Do not talk to my son." My father said, coldly._

_ He coughed and looked up at my father with hatred. My father turned his gaze away from the prisoner and looked at me. _

_ "You never show them sympathy, Draco," he said. "When they speak when they're not supposed to, they should be punished."_

_ All I could do was nod. He turned away from me and turned back to the prisoner. He began asking him questions, demanding the answers. The man refused to answer. Each time he did not answer, my father set the Cruciatus Curse on him. His screams echoed throughout the dungeons. The agony in his scream surrounded me, and I closed my eyes. I couldn't stand seeing him writhing in pain. _

_ "Now, I'm going to ask you one last time…" My father said dangerously. _

_ "Just kill __me.__" the man said, "I'll never tell you, bastard."_

_ "Trying to be noble martyr?" My father sneered. "Crucio!"_

_ Again, the man started screaming again. But it was cut short when my father stopped the curse. _

_ "Will you answer the question?" he said, putting his wand to the side._

_ "Never."_

_ My father shook his head and laughed. It was a cold, evil laugh that even made me somewhat scared of him. This whole time, I stood in the corner of the cell. I was wide-eyed and shocked. I couldn't move. I couldn't say anything. I wanted to tell the man to just tell my father, to end his torture. But the words were only screamed inside my own mind. My father called one of the Death Eaters from the outside._

_ "Find his family. Bring them here, and have them tortured right in front of him. Maybe then, he'll talk." My father ordered._

_ The Death Eater nodded and went out. I stared at my father in disbelief. _

_ "No!" the prisoner cried, hoarsely "No! Please, no! My family has nothing to do with this!"_

_ "Of course they do," sneered my father, "Their torture will get you to tell us what we want to know…"_

_ "Please! Have mercy!" the man cried, desperately._

_ "Only if you answer me…I'll tell you what, I'll give you a day to think about it. Tomorrow, when I come back in here, you'll tell me what your decision is. Either you watch your family being tortured or you just tell me." My father said, beckoning me to follow him out of the cell._

_ There was a woman in the other cell we went into. Her robes were bloody and torn. There were bruises on her thighs and her face. Tears and blood were stained on her cheek. Her brown hair was tangled and dirty. When she saw us enter, she immediately cowered in a corner, whimpering. From the look of her state, I already knew what happened to her. _

_ "Hello, Samantha." my father said, with a cruel amusement in his tone. "Did you enjoy your company last night?"_

_ "You sick son a bitch." she choked out. "Is this another you condemn me to?"_

_ "No, actually, this is my son, Draco." my father said. "But he could be if you don't answer the question…"_

_ I stared at my father in shock and quickly shook my head. "Er--No, I'd rather not. Thanks." I said, awkwardly._

_ The woman laughed and said, "I see that your son doesn't like the ways you punish the prisoners. You can tell by the frightened look in his eyes…So what are you trying to do, Malfoy? Teach your son to rape, torture, and murder?"_

_ He walked up to her and slapped her hard across the face. "And to sink that low to hit a woman!" she continued in a strangled scream._

_ Again, he slapped her. But this time it was harder. I winced when I heard the loud smack across her face. It left a red mark on her cheek, and it looked like it was turning into a bruise. _

_ "YOU BASTARD!" she screamed._

_ "You're testing my patience, woman!" he said, loudly. "Would you like some company tonight as well? I can easily call someone to do that."_

_ She cowered more into her corner, knowing she wasn't going to go anywhere. _

_ "Where are the secret locations of the Order?" my father asked._

_ "Don't know." she replied, curtly._

_ "Crucio!" _

_ She screamed, and I couldn't take the horrifying sound of it. I covered my ears and turned away from the sight of her. I could not block out the screams, even so. I couldn't gather up the courage to tell my father to stop, for I knew he would use the same curse on me if I said anything. So all I did was stand there and try to block out the screams of Samantha._

_ When the screams stopped, she looked like she was dead. But a few whimpers could still be heard from her unmoving body. _

_ "Stop," I said to my father. "Please, just stop. She's never going to tell you, father."_

_ "Are you feeling pity for her?" my father asked, sneering. _

_ "I-Father, you know she's never going to answer the question, so why bother torturing her?" I said, amazed at my own courage._

_ My father looked angry and said, "Do not question what the Dark Lord wants."_

_ I opened my mouth to say something, but decided against it. "You're going to join, Draco. So you better get use to witnessing tortures…and you better stop pitying these pathetic people." my father said._

_ He glanced at Samantha's unmoving body and walked out of the cell. I hesitated to follow. I stayed behind and looked at her._

_ She looked at me with a haunted gaze and whispered, "They've killed my baby…they've killed my baby…oh God, oh God…"_

_ It was then that I noticed the blood. I was too shocked to say anything, and I realized that there was a small lump in her stomach I didn't notice before. I inhaled shakily and walked out of the cell without a word of sorry. When I was near the dungeon exit, I heard her strangled scream of anguish. It echoed off the walls, like it echoed in my mind. She sobbed loudly, screaming over and over about the hate she felt towards the Death Eaters. I felt a pain inside me, and it was a pain for all the prisoners. They didn't deserve the torment…_

_

* * *

_

_ Now, I'm being asked-no, ordered-to become a Death Eater. I'm being ordered to become one of them; to sink low enough to torture people just to find the answer; to show no sympathy towards pleas of mercy; to kill without a second thought. How do I do that? How do I say yes to something like that?_

_ I was raised to believe that this offer was something to be anticipated for. I was raised to believe that the world should be vanquished of all Muggles and Mudbloods. That was what I believed for a while, before I witnessed the tortures. The tortures they used made me feel sick. I felt ashamed of being the son of someone who wasn't even human, someone who would torture someone for answers, and someone who'd rape a woman just for the pleasure. _

_ Who wouldn't be ashamed of any of this? Who wouldn't be ashamed of their father for being one of these Death Eaters? The others are all proud of their parents being Death Eaters because they don't know what they do. It's like these people aren't even human because they can't even feel the smallest bit of pity. Parkinson said I had nothing to be ashamed of. Well, I do. I'm ashamed of everything. I'm ashamed of being the son of a cruel Death Eater; I am ashamed that I am about to become a Death Eater myself. _


	3. Chapter 2: Blinding From the Truth

**_Understanding_**

****

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter and any other related materials. I do not own the song "Understanding (Wash it All Away)" by Evanescence.

**Author's Note:** Insomnia is actually pretty good for your writing…So here I reveal a part of the pentagon. How fun! No, Ron's not part of it. Poor Ron, he never gets to be a part of anything in my fic. Not to worry, Ron-lovers. One day, I will write a fic for Ron. And he'll be very, very special. Sorry if Luna is OOC.. Oh yes, and this is H/Hr. Yes, so if you don't like it, I suggest you leave. I do not accept flames. They hurt. They really hurt. ::cries::

**Chapter 2: Blinding From the Truth**

The Weasleys, Harry, and Hermione rushed into King's Cross station, about ten minutes before the train was about to leave. Quickly, by pairs, they went through the wall and arrived on Platform 9 ¾. Ginny was the last to go through the wall and by the time she got through, everyone was already boarding the train. She sighed and pushed her trolley towards the loading area, where they quickly took her trunk and loaded it onto the train.

Ginny went aboard the train and went to the compartments where the prefects sat. Before entering one of them, she reached into her robe pocket and pinned her prefect badge onto her robe collar. She looked into one of the compartments, but Ron and Hermione were not there. Naturally, she looked into the other one, and they were sitting there, with new fifth year prefects.

"Thanks for waiting for me." Ginny said, sarcastically.

"You're welcome, Gin." Ron said.

"Sorry, Ginny. We had to get aboard the train because we have the meeting with the new prefects." Hermione said, nodding towards the prefects, who were sitting quietly at the other end.

"Ron's not even Head Boy." Ginny pointed out.

"No," Hermione sighed. "But he wanted to catch a glimpse of who it was…The Head Boy is in the other compartment, telling the other new prefects what to do. I think it's Justin…I mean, who else could it be?"

Ginny rolled her eyes. She sat down next to Ron, when Hermione started speaking to the new prefects. Ginny easily tuned out what she was saying after the first five minutes. The train whistled, signaling that it was going to leave Platform 9 ¾ in a few seconds. Slowly, the train started to move, and they left the station. After a minute or two, the compartment door slid open. All heads turned, including Ginny's, to see who it was. It was Draco Malfoy. And he had the Head Boy badge pinned on his robes.

Hermione stopped speaking and stared at him in shock. She opened her mouth then closed it, and she was at a loss for words. Ron did something similar to Hermione, only his face was contorted to a look of anger. The fifth year prefects looked uncomfortable at the awkward silence.

"Bloody hell!" Ron cried, outraged. "I can't believe _you're_ made Head Boy!"

"Ron, not now," Hermione said, quietly. She cleared her throat and said, "Are you done telling the other prefects what to do?"

Malfoy nodded. Hermione told the rest of the prefects to carry out their duties, and they quickly left the compartment. Malfoy casually sat down and looked at Ron with amusement.

"Don't be jealous just because I'm Head Boy and you're not, Weasley." Malfoy said, smirking.

"Who the hell said I was _jealous_?" Ron said. "I just can't believe they'd make a git like you Head Boy."

"Well, it happened, so you might as well get over it." Malfoy said.

"You always abuse your powers!" Ron pointed out, angrily.

Hermione rolled her eyes and said, "Stop acting so childish, Ron! And it's not like you never abuse your powers, either. C'mon, let's go find Harry."

"Yes, go run to Potter and whine about it." Malfoy sneered.

Before Ron could say anything else, Hermione pulled him out of the compartment door and shut it. Cries of outrage could still be heard, but it eventually faded away when Ginny heard a slam of another compartment door. This whole time, Ginny had just been sitting here, watching Ron and Malfoy go at each other. Now, she was left alone with Malfoy, who seemed to be oblivious to her presence. She stood up and went out of the compartment.

She found Ron and the others seven compartments down from the prefects' compartment. Ron was still ranting about how Malfoy had gotten to be Head Boy, but this time he was ranting it to Harry. Harry listened attentively to his rants, and he'd nod occasionally, agreeing with Ron.

"And doesn't Dumbledore know that he's a future Death Eater?" Ron finished, angrily. "He's probably working for You-Know-Who right now!"

Ginny felt a small tug of pain at the mention him. It had been five years now, and her darkest secret was still kept. No matter how hard she tried, she realized she could never hate him. It's as if that whole year of writing to him kept a special bond between them. In her mind, she knew it was hopeless to keep a promise made five years ago to a _memory_. But he had said he would cease to become a memory, and he would be alive.

Ginny shook away her thoughts. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and continued listening to the trio's conversation.

"I just don't understand how he could be Head Boy…" Ron continued.

"Well, if you really think about it, Ron, he _does_ have good grades." reasoned Ginny, after she grew tired of Ron repeating that for the hundredth time.

Ron looked at her sulkily and said, "That doesn't matter."

Ginny shrugged and said airily, "I'm pretty sure it does, Ron."

Ron paused for a moment and looked incredulously at Ginny. "Why are you all of a sudden defending him?"

She sighed angrily and rolled her eyes. "Please, Ron, just act your age. Like Malfoy said, 'it happened, so you might as well get over it.'"

"Oh, so now you're _agreeing_ with that Death Eater!" Ron said to Ginny, accusingly.

"Stop it, Ron." Hermione said.

Harry looked slightly amused by Ron's overreaction, but he didn't say anything. He just shook his head and continued looking through his box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavored Beans he bought off the food trolley earlier. Ron glared at Hermione and Ginny, as he grabbed one of Harry's Chocolate Frogs. He moodily bit off the Frog's head and refused to talk to them. He only talked to Harry; and when Hermione said he was acting immaturely, he would say, "Did you _hear_ something, Harry?"

"Harry!" Hermione said, angrily. "I can't believe you're just letting him do that."

"Sorry, but you know Ron. Even if I try to convince him to stop, he won't listen." Harry said. "Besides, it is bad that Malfoy got to be a Head Boy. And Ron is right, he always abuses his powers." he added.

Hermione glared at Ron and took out a thick book. She huffed and buried her head inside the depths of the huge book. Harry put one of his arms around her and whispered something into her ear. Ginny saw Hermione blush and suppress a giggle. Ron rolled his eyes and stuffed his mouth with more of what Harry bought. Harry grinned mischievously and continued whispering sweet-nothings into her ear. Soon, Hermione put down her book and pushed Harry away, playfully.

Ron groaned and said, "You guys are making me sick. Seriously, just sick."

After Ron said that, the compartment door slid open and Luna Lovegood stepped in. She had a copy of _The Quibbler_ in her hand and a wand behind her ear. She beamed when she saw Ron and kissed him swiftly on the cheek. Ron's ears went pink, but he returned a kiss to Luna on the lips.

"You guys are making me sick. Seriously, just sick." Harry said, echoing Ron.

"Oh, shut up." Ron said.

"So, I hear Draco Malfoy is the new Head Boy…" Luna said, almost in a dreamy voice.

"Yeah," Ron muttered, sulkily.

"Yeah, he's been brooding about it this whole time," Hermione said, sarcastically, "Can't you tell?"

"Yes, I heard him when you guys were walking down the hallway." Luna said, seating herself next to Ron.

Ron and Luna had been a couple ever since Ginny's fifth year at Hogwarts. It was true that Luna often drove Ron crazy because—well, she was somewhat insane herself. But, all in all, Ron loved her and she loved him. Basically, they're crazy for each other. Harry and Hermione had been together since Ginny's fifth year, as well.

It's true that Ginny has been feeling a bit jealous that Harry was with Hermione. But she couldn't help it. It was hard to explain. She was really happy that Harry and Hermione were a couple. She really had gotten over her crush on Harry, but she just couldn't help feeling jealous. It was because he always reminded her of him. Harry almost had the same features, but they were different in their own ways. Even so, whenever she saw Harry, an image of him ran across her head…

* * *

_I suppose it is a bit foolish to wait around for him. It's even more foolish to even feel this type of jealousy because Harry resembles some of his features. How long has it been, five years? Five years, and I still wait for him. My promise has never been broken. It's true that I had gone out with Michael Corner and Dean Thomas, but I've never felt anything for them. They both broke up with me, but I could care less. I only love him, and he is the only one I will ever love._

_He is the Dark Lord, but for some reason it does not frighten me. I know, deep inside him, the memory of his former self is still lingering. Tom told me to keep the promise to always love him no matter what happened. And that's what I'm doing right now. There's no wrong in it. I love him, even through this war he has created. _

_During my fifth year, the Death Eaters who had been caught in the Department of Mysteries escaped from Azkaban. They released a list of the Death Eaters' names. It included Lucius Malfoy, the father of Draco Malfoy, and the same person who gave me Tom. Naturally, Malfoy was the main target of the students who were in Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff. Nearly everyday, someone tried to hex him as he walked down the corridors._

_I even felt bad for him, but I didn't do anything about it—what they were saying about him was true. After all, he was the son of a Death Eater. There was no doubt in my mind that he was going to one day join his father. But I should talk—I'm in love with the Dark Lord, himself. _

_As the weeks went by, more names were released by the Daily Prophet; more Slytherins were made targets. The staff of Hogwarts couldn't stop the hatred brewing between the three houses and Slytherin. They didn't care about the house points because the war was the only thing that mattered. Detention didn't have any great effect either. The war was and still is splitting everything apart. The three houses that are against Slytherin are now known as the Allied Three, which is totally ridiculous, if you ask my opinion. But I am only one of the few who are actually against the idea…_

* * *

_So how have I been coping without Tom? I have been blinding everyone. I've been making them believe that I was really okay. They don't see me as the same girl who got possessed by the memory of the dark lord. They see me as a normal, teenaged girl, who has nothing wrong in her life. How could there be? Even though I am poor, I have the best family, and I had good friends. _

_That is what I've been making them believe; it's what I've been making my family believe. After my first year, my parents had always been worried that I would sink into some bottomless pit of depression or some symptom of trauma. However, I told them I was fine, and everything was going to be fine. Except the truth was nothing was fine. _

_I even tried writing my real thoughts in a normal diary. But every time I did, I found myself waiting for a reply out of the ordinary, mindless diary. Tom became my drug, and he was still my drug. I'm still addicted, and I'm suffering severe withdrawal. I don't know how much I can pretend anymore._

_Ever since this war started, I've been having dreams of Tom. He's been telling me that I won't have to wait any longer. Sometimes, I wonder if the dreams are real, and if he's really sending me a message through a dream. But then I think that I'm probably just bringing my hopes up because an iota of me doubts he's ever coming back for me…_

* * *

Ginny sighed, louder than she had intended to. All of them looked at her when the sigh escaped from her lips.

"What's the matter?" Hermione asked.

Ginny met the older girl's concerned gaze. She smiled and shook her head.

"Nothing," she replied with a shrug. "Just thinking about the war, y'know?"

Hermione nodded and said sadly, "This war has to end sometime…"

"We're almost near qualification age for being Aurors." Ron said.

"And that's a good thing?" Ginny said, raising an eyebrow.

Ron frowned as if the answer to the question was obvious. "Well…yeah…I mean, don't you want to give those bloody Death Eaters what they deserve?"

"Ron, I think she means that you could get killed in battle." Hermione said, exasperatedly.

"Oh, well, I wouldn't worry about that. I mean, I'm sure Harry and I can survive it." Ron said.

Luna opened up _The Quibbler_ magazine because she always preferred to stay out of the conversation when it came to war. She was more of the person who preferred to keep peace. She fell silent as she began to read if You Know Who was actually a famous actor in the Muggle world before he became evil.

"You never know what could happen." Ginny said, quietly.

"Well, isn't there that one saying 'if I die, I die with honor'?" Ron said.

"Ron, you shouldn't even joke about death." Ginny indignantly said.

This whole time, Harry seemed to be a lot quieter than before. He looked out the window and had a depressed look upon his face. He looked troubled. He always did whenever he was quiet and apparently thinking. Ron sighed and continued nibbling bits of the last Chocolate Frog. Hermione scooted near Harry and gave him a sad smile. She put an arm around him and whispered for him to walk around the train for a bit. Harry nodded. They both got up. Hermione beckoned Ron to follow.

Ron got up as well and said, "I'll be just a minute."

Once Ron shut the compartment door and walked away, Luna cleared her throat loudly. Ginny shot her gaze over at her. She looked at her questionably, but her head was still behind the magazine. For a moment, there was silence as Luna continued reading the article. Then, the silence was broken when Luna flipped a page and spoke.

"So what was the real reason you sighed so incredibly loud?"

Ginny frowned and said, "That was the real reason…"

"No, I don't think so." Luna said from behind _the Quibbler_. "Sighing and talking about this war? No, not the way you sighed."

"What do you think it is, then?" Ginny inquired, with a mocking tone.

Luna put down the magazine and gave Ginny a small smile. "Why don't you tell me, Ginevra?"

Ginny shuddered inwardly at the name. Tom was the only person that had called her by her full name. She looked at Luna, who was still waiting for an answer. Could Luna read her mind or something? How could she tell that she was lying?

"What makes you suspect that I'm not telling the truth?" Ginny asked, suspiciously.

Luna shrugged and leaned back on her seat. "Oh, I dunno. You just had this dreamy sort of look on your face. You know, the same look when you were still fancying Harry."

Ginny stared at Luna and laughed. "Oh…so this is what it's all about."

"All _what_ about?"

"You want me to tell you who I fancy now?" Ginny said. "Well, it's no one. No one at all."

Luna picked up _The Quibbler_ again and started flipping through the pages.

Ginny leaned forward and said exasperatedly, "Because I had a dreamy look while I was thinking doesn't mean anything."

"I wouldn't be so sure…" Luna muttered, flipping the magazine upside down to read an article.

Ginny was getting annoyed now, so she said, "So what? You have the Sight now or something? Can you see things others can't see?"

"You don't have to throw me an attitude, Ginny." Luna said, not looking up from the article.

Ginny scowled. She was the one that brought this whole thing up! Now, she wasn't even going to end it. Ginny leaned forward and pulled the Quibbler down. Luna slowly looked up, meeting Ginny's eyes without a sign of nervousness. Luna raised an inquiring eyebrow and quickly pulled the magazine out of Ginny's grasp.

"Seriously," Luna said. "No need for that."

"I always knew you were crazy, Loony." Ginny said, but she had a teasing tone in her voice.

Luna shrugged. She pulled out a scrunchy from her robe pocket and tied her dirty-blonde hair into a loose pony tail. After doing so, she picked up the magazine again and started reading. After a short while, they both heard the trio coming near the compartment.

"I may be Loony Lovegood." Luna said, keeping her voice low. "But at least I'm not lying to everyone, and pretending to be something I'm not."

"What are you talking about?" Ginny whispered.

"You," Luna said. "I can tell right away that you're lying every time when you zone out to another world; perhaps you're thinking of someone; perhaps you're thinking of the wrong things in your life…"

"Or perhaps the war." Ginny inserted.

Luna ignored her and said, "Or maybe betrayal of some sort."

Ginny stared at Luna like she was some sort of _lunatic_.

"I think…you've been reading too much of _The Quibbler_…" Ginny sputtered out in disbelief.

Luna shrugged and said, "If you're thinking how I know all of this, the answer is that I observe."


	4. Chapter 3: Insecure

**_Understanding_**

****

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter and any other related material. They all belong to J.K. Rowling. I do not own the song "Understanding (Wash it All Away)" by Evanescence; it's one of their old songs that has not been on a released album.

**Author's Note: **I used some dialogue from GoF…

_Please don't be afraid_

_When the darkness fades away,_

_The dawn will break the silence_

_Screaming in our hearts_

**Chapter 3: Insecure**

The Sorting had just ended, and only a few students got into Slytherin. Draco felt sick when Dumbledore talked about the war. He had shifted uncomfortably in his seat, and he saw that he was the only one in Slytherin who had done so. While Dumbledore said a few things about the Death Eaters, a few from Gryffindor and Ravenclaw cast a hateful glare towards the Slytherin table and especially at Draco. The Hufflepuffs murmured and pointed at him.

The mindless ramblings of his friends gave Draco a headache. He sat there, staring blankly down at his food. He poked it idly, as a few Slytherins from his year told him all the things he could do to the Gryffindors since he had Head Boy privileges. All he did was nod throughout the conversations. Pansy nudged him hard and gave him a frown of bewilderment.

"What is the matter with you?" she hissed.

"What do you mean?" Draco asked, not looking at her.

"You're acting strange. You're not talking like you usually do, and you're not even plotting up ways to get at Potter and his friends this year. It's just not you…" Pansy explained in a low voice, so no one could hear.

He raised an eyebrow at her and said, "I think you're just being paranoid, Parkinson."

Pansy rolled her eyes and said, "Everyone is noticing."

"I don't hear them say anything about it."

"Well, I do."

"Congratulations."

Pansy scowled, as Crabbe and Goyle sniggered stupidly at their argument. When the desserts disappeared cleanly off their plates, Dumbledore rose from his seat again. He gave precautions of the Forbidden Forests to the first years, and he sent them off to their common rooms, telling them to follow the prefects.

Draco rose from his seat, along with the rest of the students, and strode towards the doors of the Great Hall. A flood of students crowded at the door. But a few first and second years cowered when they saw him coming. He ignored their terrified faces and squeezed through the crowd. If it were a few years ago, he would have had an urge to scream, "I'm Head Boy, make way!", but things were different now. Everything has been different ever since the war. They say the war changes people, and it was true.

But perhaps it was because of the things he witnessed in the summer. It made him feel sick, and ever since then, he hadn't been himself. The screams still haunt him in his sleep; the woman's haunted look as she whispered frantically about her baby; the man's hopeless pleas to have mercy on his family…

While he was thinking about all those dreadful things, he bumped into the trio. They gave him a disgusted look.

"Watch where you're going, Malfoy." said Weasley, angrily.

They managed to go through the crowd and into the Entrance Hall. Every house went their separate ways. However, Weasley stayed behind. Draco could see his sister roll her eyes as he advanced towards him. Granger and Potter stood aside with some Ravenclaw that he didn't know.

"So how did you manage to make Head Boy?" Weasley inquired, enviously looking at his Head Boy badge. "I don't think that Death Eater father of yours could've bribed anyone. Y'know, since it's all out in the open that he's working for You-Know-Who."

"To tell the truth, Weasley," Draco drawled, "Dumbledore thought I was better for the job than you."

Before he could say anything, the Weasley girl walked over, sighing angrily. She pulled Weasley's arm and tried to pull him away.

"Drop it, Ron." she hissed.

He didn't move. She looked desperately at the others who shook their heads. Potter and Granger stepped forward and tried to pull him away, but it didn't work either.

"So how many did you kill this summer, Malfoy?" Weasley continued. "Tell me, how many Muggles? How many from the Order?"

It hit a nerve. Draco quickly whipped his wand out and pointed it at Weasley. Weasley got out his wand as well. Granger walked forward and pulled Weasley's hand down with incredible amount of force.

"As Head Girl, I can't allow this." she said. "And neither can you, Malfoy."

Draco glared at Weasley one last time and lowered his wand. Without another word, he walked off towards the Slytherin dungeons.

* * *

****

_I never killed anyone, but they think I did. It was my father who killed them all. I couldn't do anything about it. I watched them scream in agony; I watched them being tortured; I watched them die a slow death. And I never did anything. I just stood aside and watched. I showed no emotion of sympathy, but inside I was screaming in horror. As the weeks went by, I began to grow accustomed to the feeling of horror. I'd bite back the gasps, the screams, and I'd turn away. _

_That's all I did. I watched them being killed. What was I supposed to do? If I showed any signs of sympathy, my father would have hit me with the Cruciatus Curse; I couldn't do anything. I don't blame them for thinking I killed people. I mean, I never really showed any sympathy that time when the Muggles were being tortured. It was at the Quidditch World Cup._

_It was the first time I ever witnessed Death Eaters torturing Muggles. I was in my tent, too excited from the Quidditch game to sleep. My mother had retired to bed, while my father stayed up with a few close friends. Noises of celebration could still be heard, as the __Ireland__ supporters were still celebrating about the victory. _

_I clearly remember being sent to bed by my father after he had a few drinks with his friend. Not tired, I stood hidden in the shadows, listening into my father's conversation. His friends sounded drunk._

_"We should have a little fun tonight…" one of them said._

_"Do you have your mask?" the other asked._

_"Always carry it with me, o' course." _

_"What do you say, Lucius?"_

_I didn't hear my father reply, but I suspect he nodded. Soon, he laughed almost in a drunken state. Then, all grew quiet and I knew they had gone out. A few slow minutes passed by. A scream echoed throughout the campsite. It was immediately followed by more screams. Before I could react, my mother grabbed my shoulder._

_"Is it your father?" she asked, urgently._

_I nodded. She let out a groan of frustration and despair. _

_"Draco, go into the woods. It's not safe." She said, quickly._

_I obeyed and sprinted out to the woods. I passed the scene where the chaos started. Dark figures, with masked faces, were pointing their wands towards the sky. And they were laughing. I quickly caught a glimpse of what they were doing. Muggles were hanging in the air, being tortured endlessly by the Death Eaters. Two of them were children. One of them was a woman, and she was hung upside down. She screamed as she tried to cover herself up._

_Somewhat shocked, I ran into the woods until I was surely safe. Ahead of me, I saw Potter, Weasley, and Granger. Apparently Weasley had tripped over a tree root. Quickly, I leaned against a tree, to make it seem like I was completely relaxed over the situation._

_"Tripped over a tree root," Weasley said, getting on his feet._

_I smirked and said, "Well, with feet that size, hard not to…"_

_"Fuck off, Malfoy." he said, angrily._

_"Language, Weasley," I said. "Hadn't you better be hurrying along, now? You wouldn't like her spotted, would you?"_

_I nodded towards Granger. I thought I was doing them a favor by informing them that the stupid Mudblood was in danger. But I guess they took it as an insult. I always knew they were stupid in their own ways._

_"What's that supposed to mean?" said Granger._

_"Granger, they're after _Muggles_," I said, as if it wasn't obvious enough. "D'you want to be showing off your knickers in midair? Because if you do, hang around…they're moving this way, and it would give us all a laugh."_

_"Hermione's a witch," Potter snarled._

_I grinned and said, "Have it your own way, Potter. If you think they can't a spot a Mudblood, stay where you are."_

_"You watch your mouth!" shouted Weasley. He took a step toward me, but Granger pulled him back._

_"Never mind, Ron." She said._

_A bang shattered the silence from the other side. It was almost deafening, and several people screamed. For some reason, I found this very amusing to see how scared Potter and his friends were. I chuckled._

_"Scare easily, don't they?" I said. "I suppose your daddy told you all to hide? What's he up to—trying to rescue the Muggles?"_

_"Where're your parents?" Potter inquired, angrily. "Out there wearing masks, are they?"_

_I smirked and said, "Well, if they were, I wouldn't be likely to tell you, would I, Potter?" _

__

_I'm not as cold and heartless as everyone thinks I am. I have a heart, surprising as that may be. You have to understand how I was raised. My father taught me that all Mudbloods were worthless, and they all deserved to die. The world should be rid of all Muggles and Muggle-borns, so only pureblood wizards were in the world. That's what I learned, and that's what I believed until the war started. _

_It's just irritating now, with everyone assuming I'm a Death Eater. If I was a Death Eater, do you think Dumbledore would still let me come to Hogwarts? They seriously don't even use their brain. All they do is assume. _

* * *

****

Draco stormed into the Slytherin Common Room, where he found the first years gathered around the room. They were being shown where the dormitories were by the prefects. He swiftly walked past them and headed towards his own room. But before he reached it, Blaise Zabini stopped him.

They had been best friends ever since the end of fifth year. They met during the summer and realized they had a lot in common. Draco was relieved that he finally found a friend that didn't have the looks or the intelligence of a gorilla.

"Hey, where are you going so early?" he said with a smirk.

"To sleep." Draco said, curtly.

"How was your summer?" Blaise continued, ignoring what Draco said.

Draco scowled and opened his mouth to say something, but Blaise cut him off again.

"Well, mine was crap. My father tried to betroth me or something to some girl. She was pureblood, of course. It's getting kind of annoying, really. He doesn't believe I can find myself a girl at Hogwarts or something. Then, after telling him I didn't like that girl, he got all angry. Then, I asked him why I couldn't just find someone I liked, and he said, 'I don't want you associating with those Mudblood and half blood girls at Hogwarts.' And I said-- "

"Okay, Blaise," Draco said, putting his hand up to make him stop. "You don't have to tell me a novel-length story."

"So how was your summer?" Blaise asked, again. "Get into any Death Eater meetings?"

Draco groaned and said, "I'd rather not talk about it."

"Hey, at least you're not getting betrothed to a bunch of ugly, pureblood girls…" Blaise pointed out.

"I'd rather have my father do that than tell me everyday I'm going to have the Dark Mark burned on my arm." muttered Draco, bitterly.

Blaise thought for a moment and said, "True…"

"And Parkinson was all up in my ass on the train." continued Draco, realizing he was bottling up a lot of his anger. He imitated a high pitch tone of Pansy, "'_You_ _have nothing to be ashamed about, Draco!'_...As if she knew anything about Death Eaters…"

Blaise laughed at Draco's imitation. He patted Draco on the back and said, "Don't worry too much about it, mate."

"So what about you? Isn't your father a Death Eater?" asked Draco.

"Not in this war."answered Blaise. "He believes in what the Dark Lord says and everything with the purebloods. But he's not a Death Eater. My grandfather was though."

"Oh…right." Draco said.

"I bet he'd like me to join though…" said Blaise.

"Why doesn't he join up if he loves the Dark Lord so much?" asked Draco.

Blaise shrugged and said, "Who knows? He says he's going to, but he never does…"

"Well, you should consider yourself lucky…" said Draco.

"Lucky? Look at you," Blaise said, grinning. "You're Head Boy. You get your own room and everything."

"You're not the first person who's jealous about that." Draco said, smirking.

"Anyway, it's not like they treat me any differently." Blaise said, "I'm a Slytherin; naturally, I work for 'You-Know-Who'"

"Yeah," agreed Draco. "Wish they'd stop assuming so much…"

"They won't. Besides, I'm friends with you, so it makes me more of a Death Eater."

Just then, Pansy stepped into their conversation. She was looking at Draco and Blaise with a frown. Blaise raised an eyebrow and gave her a questioning look.

"Did you need something?" he asked.

"No," she said, sharply. "I was just looking for Draco."

"Well, here I am, Parkinson." Draco said, giving her a look of annoyance.

"An owl arrived for you," she said, glaring at him and shoving the letter into his hands.

She turned on her heels and walked away with a huff.

"Wonder what crawled up her ass and died…" said Blaise, as Draco ripped open the envelope.

Draco read it, with Blaise reading over his shoulder.

_Draco,_

_The Dark Lord has informed me that you are able to join us very soon. You will become one of us by next summer, as you are not of age yet. However, if you would like to join sooner, you could come back when winter break begins. You _will_ join no matter what. I will not tolerate any second thoughts of not joining the Death Eaters. You should consider this an honor, and something to be very proud of. We are on the brink of winning this war, and you know that. It's better if you just join the side that is winning, or you will surely die. _

_I know you have been feeling uneasy about joining us. Ever since you showed sympathy, I knew you did not want to join. It brought shame to me that my own son would show such sympathy to filth like those from the Order. I repeat, you will join, or else you will die. You will be killed by the Dark Lord because we will win this war._

_Think about what I have written in this letter._

_--Father_

By the time he finished reading, Draco's hand were shaking. A long silence passed, and Blaise looked just as shocked as Draco was. Draco exhaled shakily and crumpled up the letter.

"So…" Blaise said, breaking the silence. "Are you going to join?"

"That's what everyone expects me to do." Draco answered, setting the letter into flames with his wand. Then, he stopped the fire with a flick of his wand.

"I don't." Blaise said, "You've changed a lot since the war. You don't think like you used to, and you're not that cruel to become a Death Eater. Not anymore, anyway…"

Draco stared at Blaise, bemused.

"I'm not joining." Blaise said, firmly. "And neither should you, if you don't believe it's right."

"What? But doesn't your whole family support the Dark Lord?" Draco asked.

"Yeah, except me." Blaise said, shrugging. He took out a piece of parchment that looked like an official letter from the Ministry.

"I wrote to the Ministry," explained Blaise. "I'm joining the Aurors once I turn eighteen."

Draco stared at him, in shock. "Zabini, are you out of your mind? Your father will kill you."

"Yeah, I know." Blaise said, calmly. "But I've been thinking a lot of what my father said about purebloods, and it just doesn't make sense to me. I don't believe in that stuff anymore."

There was a pause and Blaise said, "You should join the Aurors if you don't believe in this anymore either."

Draco shook his head and said, "My father would kill me."

"You could always run away before he ever found out." Blaise suggested.

Again, he shook his head and sighed. He thought about the letter and what it said on it. He had no choice, according to his father.

"I dunno," Draco said, unsurely. "I just don't know what to do anymore."


	5. Chapter 4: Riddles of the Heart

**_Understanding_**

****

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter and any other related materials, for they all belong to J.K. Rowling. I do not own the song, "Understanding (Wash it All Away)", which belongs to Evanescence as it is one of their old songs that has never been released on an album. The reference to ceromancy is from the book, _The Sorcerer's Companion_.

**Author's Note: **So yeah, this is one of those good chapters you've all been waiting for. Haha.

_My love for you still grows_

_This I'd do for you_

_Before I try to fight the truth_

_My final time_

_"We're supposed to try to be real, and I feel alone; and we're not together. And that is real…"_

_Can't wash it all away_

_Can't wish it all away_

_Can't cry it all away_

_Can't scratch it all away_

**Chapter 4: Riddles of the Heart**

Ginny walked beside Luna to Transfiguration class. Luna was telling Ginny an unusual event that happened during her summer, while Ginny listened absent mindedly. Occasionally, she acknowledged that she was listening by nodding her head or responding at the appropriate time. However, Luna knew that she wasn't really listening. She told her so once they stepped into McGonagall's class.

"Sorry," Ginny apologized.

"It's alright," Luna said, "But I have to say, you haven't been yourself lately. What have you been thinking about?"

"Nothing," Ginny lied, avoiding Luna's eyes.

"I think Ron's been noticing too." continued Luna, as she set down her bag on the desk.

Ginny rolled her eyes and said, "I highly doubt he notices anything."

Before Luna could open her mouth to protest, McGonagall appeared in the class. Everyone settled down and gave Professor McGonagall their attention. She explained that they were to be reviewing what they did last year to refresh their minds on the first day. Soon, the whole class began shouting random incantations, waving their wands wildly.

After Transfiguration, Ginny and Luna parted ways to go to their next class. Ginny had Divination, while Luna had Care of Magical Creatures. Professor Trelawney was still teaching, even after that little incident with Umbridge during Ginny's fourth year. When she entered the heavily perfumed room, Trelawney stepped out with a dreamy sort of voice, welcoming the class.

Today, they started ceromancy, which was just like reading tea leaves. Instead, they used wax. The wax was melted in a brass bowl and then slowly poured into a bowl of cold water. Once they did so, they had to interpret the shapes that formed in the water by the wax.

"Now, remember," Professor Trelawney said in a dreamy voice, "The shapes formed are the same as the tea leaves we read in third year. Look closely, now."

Slowly, Ginny poured her hot wax into the bowl of cold water. Slowly, a shape formed from the wax in the cold water. She stared at it for a moment, and it looked very much like a circle. But there was another blob of wax that looked like a…blob? Frowning, she opened her textbook and looked up the meaning for her shape.

Trelawney floated over to her table, peering into her bowl.

"A circle and a keyhole…" she murmured, looking up from the bowl.

"A keyhole?" Ginny said, raising an eyebrow. "It looks more like…" she tilted her head at an angle and continued, "A…blob with a small hole…"

"Look it up, dear." Trelawney said, ignoring Ginny's comment.

Ginny looked at the textbook and looked up the two shapes.

"The circle means love," Ginny told Trelawney, "And the keyhole means…unwanted news."

Frowning in bewilderment, Ginny looked up at Trelawney who looked completely content with the answer Ginny gave her. Without saying another word, Trelawney wandered to the next table that was occupied by a student who was having trouble figuring out what shape the wax had taken.

Ginny wondered if all this Divination was actually true. What unwanted news could come to her? And what was this rubbish about love? Sighing, she closed her textbook and stuffed it into her bag. However, she continued staring at the shapes, wondering what meaning it could possibly have. Perhaps Ron was right about Divination, and it didn't have any meaning at all. But something inside of Ginny kept telling her that this could mean something.

Soon, Divination was over. Ginny went to her other class, Potions, and went to lunch afterwards.

"How were classes, Ginny?" Hermione asked when she plopped down on a chair across from her.

Ginny swallowed her food and answered, "It was pretty good, except for Snape's, of course."

Soon, they were joined by Harry and Ron who were looking very disgruntled from Divination.

"I suppose Divination didn't go well?" Hermione said.

"Well, it was very boring." Ron said, shoveling food into his mouth.

"And it wasn't very fun dropping stones into a small pool of water and seeing what the ripples made." Harry said, helping himself to some of the food.

"I'm telling you," Hermione said, impatiently. "You should just drop that subject and take up something else."

"It's kind of too late, isn't it?" Harry said. "Besides, it's easy getting a good grade in that class…"

Hermione rolled her eyes and continued eating her food. Suddenly, Ginny remembered the shapes that her wax had formed, and she wanted to ask Harry and Ron about it.

"Ron, Harry," she began.

They both looked up and said in unison, "What?"

"Did you guys do ceromancy in Divination last year?" Ginny asked.

"Yeah, why?" Ron said.

"Well, we did that today, and I was wondering what shapes you got out of your wax." said Ginny.

"I dunno," Ron said, shrugging. "A moon or something."

"Er—I remember mine." Harry said. "It was a pumpkin."

"What did it mean?" Ginny asked.

"A warm relationship." Harry answered, glancing and grinning at Hermione.

"So ceromancy is accurate then?" Ginny said.

"No," Harry said, thoughtfully. "I think it's just coincidence."

"Well, it is a strange coincidence then…" Ginny said. "I think you're starting to think like Hermione too." she added.

Harry chuckled and continued eating his food. Hermione, however, began reading a book for her next class.

* * *

****

**__**

_A strange coincidence it is, indeed. Of course, Tom eventually drifted into my mind as I thought these things on ceromancy. However, I doubt he would ever return to me again. It's over, and I know in my mind that it is. But in my heart, I refuse to accept it. Somehow, I want him, and I keep waiting for him. _

_I know that he is the Dark Lord; actually, in his future he is. What am I doing with myself? I'm in love with a memory. A memory that will never return to me…But he promised me he'd return. And I promised him that I'd love him, no matter what happens. My promise is still kept, even until this very second._

_I'm hopeless, aren't I? I always trail after someone who will never return for me. For example, my huge crush I had on Harry. I guess the ceromancy had a meaning today. I won't find love, and that is unwanted news. Or is it, really? Anyway, I don't think I'd ever know. Divination always confused me, although Luna finds it fascinating. I guess it's different for different people. _

_However, it pains me to think about Tom. Every time I do, I find myself on the verge of tears. Sometimes, I think I should just give up. Part of me knows that it's hopeless waiting around for him. The other part of me hopes and reassures that he'll be back, and I will be in his arms again. I wonder what I'm doing to myself. Am I hurting myself by fighting the cold truth that's right in front of me? I know what the truth is, but I prefer to live in this lie I've created for myself._

_Tom will come back. He said he would. And I, foolish as I may be, believe him. With my whole heart that I've given to him, I believe him. _

* * *

****

Ginny's day passed by fairly quickly, and she was glad that it did. By dinner, she was exhausted and felt like skipping dinner altogether. But she knew Ron would be worried, so she decided not to. She ate fast, and left as soon as she was done. No one asked where she was going because they knew she usually eats pretty fast.

For a while, she wandered aimlessly around the corridors. Finally, she decided to settle at the library, where it was quiet. She could probably get a start on her homework, as well. Ginny went to the back table, where no one would bother her. But when she arrived at her table, she found Draco Malfoy sitting there. He was leaning his chair back onto a book shelf, and he had his feet propped up on the table. Since he was absorbed in a book, he did not notice Ginny.

Ginny bit her lip, wondering what to say. She could always sit somewhere else, but it wouldn't be that bad to sit with Malfoy. It's not like he was going to hex her or anything. Or maybe he would, just to get back at her for setting the Bat Bogey Hex on him in his fifth year. Would he hold a grudge for that long?

"You can sit down if you want to, Weasley." he said, startling Ginny

"Oh-er-you wouldn't mind?" asked Ginny.

"As long as you don't hex me with that Bat Bogey spell," Malfoy said, still not looking up from his book. "And as long as you don't accuse me of being a Death Eater like your idiot brother."

"I won't." assured Ginny, setting down her bag next to her chair as she sat down.

She took out her Divination homework. Her homework was to keep a diary of the events that occurred in her daily life that may have something to do with the shapes in ceromancy. Dipping her quill in the ink, she began writing about her day and how nothing happened that would apply to the wax shapes of love and unwanted news. While she was writing, she wondered if Trelawney would read these diary entries and butt in on their private lives.

"Ceromancy?" Draco asked, snapping Ginny out of her thoughts.

"What?" Ginny said, stupidly.

"Are you starting that in Divination?" he asked, nodding towards her small journal book.

"Er—yeah." Ginny said.

"What shapes did you get?" he asked.

Ginny frowned and said, "Why do you want to know, Malfoy?"

He shrugged and said, "Just wondering, Weasley. No need to get all touchy about it."

"I wasn't being touchy." argued Ginny, glaring at Malfoy.

However, he was reading his book again, and he didn't meet her glare. For some reason, Ginny was reminded greatly of Luna by this action. She sighed angrily and continued her work. She was moving on to her Potions essay. She had to write about the effects of Veritaserum and how it is made. There was an awkward silence between Malfoy and Ginny. Her quill scratched against the parchment noisily, which made Ginny nervous. She was actually afraid that he might snatch the quill away from her and break it or something. This was the only quill she had at the moment…

"It was a circle and a keyhole." she answered, finally. Ginny didn't know why she did it. Perhaps the silence was making her feel a bit nervous…

Malfoy nodded, still not looking up from his book. He said, "What did it mean?"

"Love and unwanted news." replied Ginny. "It's a bunch of rubbish. What did you get?"

"Why do you want to know, Weasley?" he mocked.

Ginny opened her mouth to say something, but Malfoy cut her off.

"I'm kidding." he said, smirking.

She flushed and mumbled an apology.

"It looked like crap to me, but Trelawney insisted that it was flowers." Malfoy said, putting down his book and sitting up straight.

"What did it mean?" Ginny asked.

"Love, honor, and esteem." he said, rolling his eyes. "Ha, yeah right…"

"So I'm taking none of that happened?" Ginny said, giving him a small smile.

"No," answered Malfoy. "Not yet, anyway." He shrugged and continued reading his book.

Ginny continued working on her Potions essay. As time passed by, not a word was exchanged between the two. Malfoy silently continued reading his book, which he seemed to be completely absorbed in. Ginny went from each subject, finishing up her homework.

Suddenly, a dark, spiked hair boy came to the table, plopping down next to Malfoy. He had the same smirk as Malfoy, and Ginny could tell he was also in Slytherin. Malfoy acknowledged him by putting down his book and giving him a questioning look.

"I've been looking all over for you," the boy said. "Goyle said I'd find you here. Anyway, what are you doing here?"

Malfoy shrugged and said, "Reading."

"Reading?" his friend said, looking a bit surprised. "Seriously, you _have _changed."

The boy didn't even seem to notice Ginny sitting there, just listening to them talk. She raised her eyebrow at him, and she figured that he saw with the corner of his eye. He finally noticed that she was sitting there. He winked at her, which made Ginny turn a bit of red.

"What's up, Weasley?" he said, smiling at her.

Then he turned to Malfoy and said, "And sitting with a Weasley. You've changed _a lot_."

Ginny, growing tired of this person talking as if she wasn't there, spoke up. "I'm sorry, but I don't recall your name." she said in a cold tone.

"Blaise Zabini," he answered lazily. "And you're a Weasley. Don't remember your first name, though…"

"It's Ginny," said Malfoy, smirking at her.

"Oh, yeah!" Blaise said, dawning with realization. "I know you. You were kidnapped into the Chamber of Secrets in my second year! I didn't really know Draco back then, so I didn't know that Lucius gave you the dia—ow!"

Apparently, Malfoy had kicked Blaise from under the table to keep him from continuing. Ginny bit her lip. Memories of Tom flooded back to her; memories of the chamber came back. She could see it clearly in her head again.

_"I'm sorry I had to do this to you, Ginny…Any moment now your precious Harry will come here, in an attempt to rescue you…It's what you always wanted wasn't it?"_

Without a word, Ginny began packing her textbooks into her bag. Tears began to blur her vision, and she felt like she was suffocating. She heard Blaise mutter, "I'll just go now…" and getting up to leave. She stubbornly told herself not to cry in front of Malfoy. She was keeping her head low, pretending to concentrate on stuffing a big book inside her bag.

However, the tears came pouring down her cheeks. Quickly she wiped them away with her sleeves, but more and more came. Finally, she started sobbing uncontrollably right in front of Draco Malfoy. Blindly, she grabbed her bag and ran out of the library.

* * *

_I couldn't help it. I really couldn't. I've been thinking about Tom so much lately. I feel as if he's taking over me, once again. He's messing with my head, again. But despite everything he's done to me, I still love him. Why? Did the promise seal itself within my heart, making it impossible to break? Why couldn't I just break it? Why do I still trust he's coming back? Why do I still wait for him? Why do I still love him?_

_With my wasted heart, I still love him. My mind urges myself to forget this love and move on with my life. However, my heart continues to wait for him. Doesn't everyone say to follow your heart? Is everyone lying then?_

* * *

Ginny didn't get very far. She stopped running when she got to the corridors. She held onto the cold, stone walls for support. Sobbing, she slid down onto the cold, stone floor. Suddenly, a shadow loomed over her and a sense of dread filled her entire, aching body. Slowly, she turned around and saw that it was Malfoy.

"I really don't need this right now, Malfoy."she choked out, hiccoughing from her sobs.

He got down and sat beside her. His face was emotionless, but he continued to look at her. She closed her eyes and continued sobbing quietly. For a while, he sat there, not saying a single word to her. Finally, his silence was broken.

"Are you still scarred by the past?" he asked, quietly.

"A scar never fades." Ginny said, sniffing.

"I know."

Ginny began sobbing again. She took a long, shuddering breath and sobbed, "I loved him so much."

Malfoy didn't say anything. He was probably confused and had no idea what Ginny was talking about. Awkwardly, he put an arm around Ginny and gave her a comforting one-armed hug.

"Well," he said. "Remember your wax shapes: you still have love in your future."

She laughed hollowly, wiping her tears away. Ginny had calmed a bit when he put an arm around her. For a minute, they were both quiet. Then Ginny turned to Malfoy.

"I think your friend is right," she said, "You have changed a great deal."

"You don't know how many times I've heard that." he said.

"Yes, but…you're sitting here with a Weasley. And we're actually having a civilized conversation." Ginny said, "And you're not even taunting me for crying like this…"

"Maybe if it was your brother, I would." Malfoy replied.

"But you hate all Gryffindors."

"No, all Gryffindors hate _me_. Same with Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff."

"And you hate all Weasleys, including me. I'm a Weasley. I even cursed you with the Bat Bogey Hex…"

"What? Do you _want_ me to start taunting you?" said Malfoy.

She shook her head, wiping tears away. She calmed herself and stood up. With the bag over her shoulder, she extended a hand to Malfoy. He took it and helped himself up.

"Um—it would be great if you didn't—" she began.

"Mention this to anyone." he finished. "Especially not to your brother."

"Yeah." Ginny said, nodding.

An awkward silence passed. Finally, Ginny nodded at Malfoy.

"Good night, Malfoy." she said, turning to leave.

"It's Draco."he said.

She turned back around and smiled. "Good night, Draco." she said.

****

****


	6. Chapter 5:Change

**_Understanding_**

****

**Disclaimer:**I do not own Harry Potter and all other related materials, which belong to J.K. Rowling.

**Author's Note:** Am I rushing a bit? There is a lot of D/G interaction here. I guess I am a bit rushed. Alright, **thank you to ALL MY REVIEWERS**. You know who you are. Maybe if I'm not lazy, I'll post names in the next chapter and what not. I think I'll be too lazy to do it…But I still want **to thank all my reviewers** for taking the time to put down a thoughtful review!

**Chapter 5: Change**

_Time. Time changes people, as well. The days don't change, but people do. People make the days change; they invent new things to make certain things happen; they start hatred to make wars ignite. It's the people that do it, not the days. The days stay the same, but it's the people, living in the days, changing._

_It's shocking what people can do to the days. And it's shocking how fast people change. I know I've changed; everyone has been reminding me at least twice a day. I noticed that I've changed dramatically, because I comforted a Weasley. It's not in the Malfoy nature to do so. Malfoys are not supposed to care about a Weasley. But what else could I do? It was my own father that made her like that in the first place. _

_I suppose I never really made the greatest impression of being someone caring. I don't blame her for acting somewhat suspicious of my actions. I'd probably do the same if I was in her position. _

_Now, that I look back on the years, I realize how cruel I was back then. I was always trying to get that oaf Hagrid sacked; always making fun of Potter and his stupid friends (though I must say, I enjoyed this); helping Rita Skeeter in my fourth year with her interviews; and helping Umbridge in my fifth year. However, I think I did all of that just to irritate Potter and his friends. _

_I was just being the bully, I guess. I never really thought about _killing_ anyone. I was just having my fun, in my own "evil" ways. _

_I still don't know what I should do about my father wanting me to become a Death Eater. It'd be easier if I just heeded his words and joined, but it's not like that. I thought about what Blaise said, but I don't think I could pull it off. Everyone would suspect me and put me under Veritaserum more than an average Auror-in-training. But do I really want to torture prisoners endlessly?_

* * *

**__**

****

Blaise looked over at Draco when he entered the Slytherin common room. He looked a bit guilty about what had happened, but Draco shook his head, sighing. He sat next to Blaise on one of the black leather couches.

"You need to learn to think before you speak, Zabini." said Draco, chuckling.

Blaise grinned sheepishly. However, he insisted that it wasn't his fault. "I didn't know she'd take it that badly. I mean, it has been five years…"

"I think you'd be traumatized too, being possessed by a diary and all…Anyway, I'm going to bed." said Draco, getting up.

They went their separate ways. Blaise went to the dormitories, and Draco went towards his own room that was hidden from everyone else. It was behind a portrait of an evil looking wizard.

"Serpent," he muttered.

The portrait swung open, revealing a small flight of stairs that led up to a door. Draco got to the door and opened it. His room wasn't as big as the room he had back in the Manor. However, it was a fairly good size. His four-poster bed was slightly larger than the ones in the dormitories. He had his own bathroom, which was magnificently made almost all of marble. On one side of the room, there were three, dark green armchairs. Next to the armchairs was a fireplace, where a small fire was slowly dying away.

He slowly changed out of his robes and into his pajamas. Yawning, he got into his bed and quickly fell asleep.

The next day, he woke up earlier than anyone else. Only a few people were at the Great Hall, eating their breakfast silently. Draco made his way to the Slytherin table and sat down by himself. Soon, he saw Ginny walk in by herself. Her eyes were red, probably from crying. She looked very tired, and Draco wondered why she got up this early in the morning. She briefly glanced at him and gave him a small smile. However, he did not return it. She quickly stopped smiling and went to the Gryffindor table, sitting at the far end.

Draco started debating whether he should go over there or not. Why would he though? It's not like he cared about her or anything. But in the end, he decided to because she was sitting by herself as well. Sighing, he got up from his seat and walked towards the Gryffindor table.

"'Morning." he said.

Ginny jumped and turned around. She looked fairly surprised to see him and asked him what he wanted. Draco shrugged and sat down beside her.

"You're not supposed to sit here." she hissed, nervously looking around to see if anyone was watching.

He followed her gaze and said, "They won't be able to do anything about it. I'm Head Boy."

"Yes, but-"

"Calm down, Weasley. If anyone's reputation is at risk right now, it's mine not yours." he said.

She narrowed his eyes at him. "Then why are you even sitting here?" she snapped. "Slytherin table not big enough for you?"

He glanced over at the Slytherin table and drawled, "It looks about the same size to me, Weasley. Maybe you need to get your eyes checked…"

"Listen, you stupid ferret, if you just came here to annoy me, I will hex you!" said Ginny, angrily.

"I can take points. That's a threat." Draco said, smirking at her anger.

Ginny huffed angrily and got up from her chair. She grabbed her bag and stormed out of the Great Hall. Several people looked up from their food at her sudden anger. But when they looked at Draco, they realized what had happened. The Gryffindors glared at Draco. He knew they desperately wanted to curse him, but they couldn't do it in front of the professors. He smirked at them and got up from his chair, as well. He followed Ginny out of the Great Hall.

He caught up to her in the Entrance Hall, right when she was opening the doors to go outside. When they were both outside, he ran up to her side.

"Hey, Weasley, I was just kidding." said Draco, putting his hand on her shoulder, so she would stop walking.

"It's Ginny," she corrected, brushing his hand away from her shoulder.

She turned to face him, looking completely content.

"Okay, Ginny." he said, slowly. "Where are you going?"

"Why do you care?" she asked, looking at him suspiciously.

"I _don't_ care." said Draco, defiantly.

She raised an eyebrow. Without another word, she turned around and began walking towards the other direction. For some reason, Draco had to follow her. Maybe it was because of yesterday, and all of the things she said to him. It made him somewhat curious about the youngest Weasley. Especially when she said, "I loved him so much." _Who_ did she love so much? Draco's first guess was Potter, but it didn't seem right because she didn't seem to have a problem with Potter and Granger dating.

Ginny turned back around and sighed angrily. "Don't you have someone else to bother? Harry, Hermione, and Ron, perhaps? _Blaise_?"

"Are you angry at Blaise for bringing up the diary?" he asked, standing a few feet away from her.

She didn't answer. Instead, she called out, "Just leave me alone."

He walked closer towards her and said, "Well, are you?"

"No, just go bother someone else." she said, exasperatedly.

"No one else is up to bother." pointed out Draco.

Ginny groaned and continued walking the opposite direction. She quickened her pace and so did Draco. Seeing that he was still following her, she started walking even faster. Finally, she broke into a run and so did Draco. It was actually kind of funny, chasing after her. He heard her laugh as she ran faster. They reached the edge of the forest, where she came to a stop. She was out of breath, but she was smiling. Draco stopped right behind her, breathing heavily.

"You run fast." he gasped.

"That's what you get for following me." she said, smiling triumphantly.

He smirked and said, "If you answer one question, I'll leave you alone."

"I already said I wasn't mad at Blaise." Ginny said, automatically assuming that it was the question.

"No, not that." said Draco. "It's what you said last night, when you were crying."

Immediately, Ginny stopped smiling.

"Who is it that you loved?" he asked.

"I-No-It was nothing. I was just ranting, that's all. Don't take what I said seriously-" she stammered, avoiding his eyes.

Ginny gazed into the sky, where a few birds flew towards the castle. Draco frowned, but he did not give up. Obviously, it was something she wanted to avoid, but he wanted to know.

"Who was it?" he pressed.

"What's it to you?" she snapped. "What are you going to do? Tell all of Hogwarts, so I can be humiliated?!"

"I was just wondering." said Draco, shrugging his shoulders.

She bit her lip, obviously trying to hold back tears. Ginny swept pass Draco, not saying a word. Again, Draco followed. She glared at him and opened her mouth to say something. He cut her off.

"I told you," he said, "I'll leave you alone if you answer my question."

"You wouldn't understand." she said, angrily brushing away her tears. "Heartless as you are, you wouldn't understand what it was like."

"How would I not understand?" he asked. "Just because I'm a Malfoy doesn't make me heartless."

"Well, you sure don't act like you have a heart, Death Eater!" she spat.

Both Draco and Ginny stopped in their tracks. He could feel a rising anger inside of him, making his blood boil. He looked at her in disgust. She must have known she said something bad because she immediately looked like she regretted it.

"I didn't mean that." she said, quietly. "I really didn't."

"Whatever, Weasley." said Draco, scornfully.

He began walking away. This time, it was Ginny who was following. She caught up to him and gently grabbed his arm.

"You're not a Death Eater." she said, firmly, "I just said that out of anger. When I'm angry, I say things I regret. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I hate it when people assume the Slytherins to be Death Eaters as much as you do."

For a moment, Draco wanted to throw an insult at her. But she sounded like she truly meant it, so he didn't do anything. She sighed and walked away from him. Draco watched her walk toward the castle.

* * *

_I don't know why I got so mad at her, in particular. Perhaps it was because I didn't think she'd call me a Death Eater after yesterday. Or maybe I didn't expect her to do it. Actually, I don't know why I got so angry when the words "Death Eater" flew towards me as an insult. My father was making me become one, wasn't he? I can't change what's in my future, not when my own father is controlling it. _

_I haven't replied my father's letter yet. I don't think it's really necessary. With or without a reply, he'd force me to join.

* * *

_

The rest of the day went by fast. Draco's classes weren't as slow as they used to be. The only class that went slow enough for him to go crazy was History of Magic. The constant, monotone droning of Professor Binns lulled him into a deep sleep. He awoke when the bell rang. Blaise, who sat next to him, was snoring loudly, and Draco shook him awake. He was surprised that Binns didn't even notice the snoring.

Everyone went to dinner in the Great Hall. Not feeling particularly hungry, Draco decided to skip dinner and go into the library. Blaise, who was too occupied with a certain girl he spotted, didn't even notice that he was gone. Draco walked to the usual back corner of the library, where almost no one went.

To his surprise, it was occupied by Ginny Weasley. _What a coincidence_, he thought bitterly to himself. Last time, they were in the same situation. Draco was occupying the place, while Ginny was standing right where he was at the moment.

"We meet again." she said, not looking very happy about it.

Draco took a chair and sat down. Ginny put down her Transfiguration book and crossed her arms. She stared at Draco, as if she were expecting him to throw some insult at her for what she said earlier in the day. However, Draco said nothing and returned the same stare.

"I'm taking you're angry at me for what I said today," she said.

"No, not really."answered Draco, shrugging.

"You were furious."

"How would you like it if I called you a Death Eater everyday?"

"Well, are you a Death Eater?"

He stared at her. Why does she want to know? After a moment's pause, he sighed with an answer.

"No," he said.

Silence. It was all that devoured the back corner of the library. It was his corner to be exact. He had no idea why this Weasley was here, when he claimed it first. For a while, they just sat in silence.

"So, I suppose you're going to fight when you're eighteen." said Ginny, shattering the uncomfortable silence.

"Yeah, I guess." said Draco.

For a second, Draco thought he saw a bit of disappointment flicker on her face.

"I hope you choose the right side." she said, quietly.

"Exactly _which_ is the _right_ side?" he said, testily.

"You know what I mean, Draco," said Ginny, with a bit of a sad expression on her face. "The right side for the wizarding world."

"And what if the 'right side' is the side I'm forced to choose?" he asked, "What if everything the Dark Lord is saying is actually right?"

"You know it's not. You don't have to pretend to be something you're not."

Draco felt his anger rising. Something he's not? It was something he had to do ever since he was born. The thing was awaiting him, right now. He had no choice but to become a Death Eater; to become someone who killed without sympathy; to torture and laugh at the enemy's agony. He felt like he was being wronged to be destined to be something so horrible. And to even witness it over the summer.

"And what's that? What am I pretending to be?" he snapped.

Ginny paused for a moment and said, "Well, you're not evil. Have you seen what Death Eaters do to people? It's horrible. Heartless as you may be, Draco, you're just not like that."

"Blaise already told me that," mumbled Draco.

"That's good of him. At least I'm not the only person that thinks so." said Ginny.

"That's because you're both going to be Aurors."

Another silence. Ginny looked a bit shocked at the information. Draco merely glanced away and pretended to be very interested in a book on the back shelf. He kept staring at the title: _Goblin Rebellions from the 17th Century_.

"Isn't his father a Death Eater?" she inquired.

"No, but he supports the Dark Lord." answered Draco. Ginny's face fell a bit, but it was quickly restored to her original expression.

"You're going to be an Auror, too." she said. It was more of a statement than a question. "Anyway, I have to go. Ron will be worried." Ginny added, hastily.

She stuffed her Transfiguration book in her bag and got up from her chair. She made a move towards the exit. However, Draco stood up and blocked her way. Even though it was completely off the subject, he wanted to know something-

"Since I answered a lot of my personal questions…" he began.

"No, I can't." she said, trying desperately to push pass him.

"Who was it?" he asked.

"I'm not going to tell you," she said, firmly.

"Please?"

"Why do you want to know so badly?"

"Because---well, my own father was the one that gave you the diary."

"Do you know who the diary belonged to?" she asked, quietly, avoiding his eyes.

"Yes, it was Voldemort's."

Ginny winced and whispered, "Don't say his name!"

"What? Do you prefer Tom Riddle?" he asked.

Ginny had tears in her eyes. Realization dawned on Draco, and it was a bit awkward knowing this. Suddenly, he realized how close he was to her. Ginny's back was pressed against the book shelf. Draco was just inches away from her. His hand was on the bookshelf, blocking her from the exit.

"He was everything to me." she whispered, closing her eyes. A tear leaked out.

"And you still love him?" Draco asked, feeling a bit uneasy.

Again, Ginny nodded. Draco wanted to say something, but he decided not to. He was going to tell her that she should give this love up. From Draco's knowledge, the Dark Lord never even mentioned Ginny. She was in love with a memory of him, and he wasn't even in existence anymore. Did she not realize that?

Silence. It was all that ever happened when an awkward moment like this happened. There was nothing to say now. Silence was the answer to everything now. Draco stepped away from Ginny, letting her go. However, she did not move.

"Don't tell anyone." she whispered.

"I won't." assured Draco.

Suddenly, Ginny stepped towards Draco and flung her arms around his neck. Not expecting the hug, he stumbled backwards a little. Thankfully, there was the table behind him, so he didn't fall over. For a second, he had no idea how to respond to this. No one had ever done this to him before. No one. Draco thought Ginny had gone mad. Finally, he awkwardly put his arm around her, rubbing her back comfortingly.

Finally, Ginny pulled away. She smiled at him and whispered a "thank you."

"I'll see you tomorrow then." he said, awkwardly.

It was very strange that he was being so nice to a Weasley. But, as much as he hated to admit it, she wasn't all that bad.

"Er-yeah, I guess." she said.

For a while, they just looked at each other. Neither of them made a move to leave. Somewhere in a distance, Draco heard footsteps approaching. Ginny heard it too. Then, they both heard the voices of the lovely trio. Draco could tell that Ginny didn't want to bump into them, by the look of her face. Without thinking, he said something he never thought he'd ask a Weasley.

"Wanna go to the kitchens with me? I'm starving."

She looked a bit taken aback by such a random question.

"Usually Ginny hangs around here, doesn't she?" Potter's voice drifted to where they were standing, indicating that they were near.

"Yes, I'm quite hungry myself," whispered Ginny quickly.

They managed to sneak pass the trio, hiding behind book shelves. When they made their way out of the library, they quickly ran down the corridor. After turning in several corridors, they made it to the portrait where there was a large bowl of fruit. Draco reached up to tickle the pear that started giggling as it swung the portrait open.


	7. Chapter 6: Pieces

**_Understanding_**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter and any other related materials.

**Author's Note:** Lots of stuff from OoTP from Ginny's POV. Oh yeah, and there isn't a pentagon anymore. I find it would be too confusing to write, so the plot is a little changed. Well, sorry for taking a while to update. School started, and I went all crazy.

**Chapter 6: Pieces **

Ginny stepped into the kitchens with Draco by her side. She had no idea what she was doing. Why was she here, in the kitchens, with a Malfoy? Had she gone out of her mind? If Ron catches them, he would go insane—thinking they were up to something that Ginny was disgusted to even think about. But, Ginny had to admit, he really wasn't all that bad.

Of course, he was horrible in Ginny's fourth year, when she was helping Harry. She was caught by Umbridge and a few of the Slytherins who joined her little army. That, obviously, included Draco.

* * *

_"You can't come down here!" I called to the crowd that was making their way towards the corridor. "No, sorry, you're going to have to go round by the swiveling staircase, someone's let off Garroting Gas just along here---."_

_Immediately, several people started complaining. I rolled my eyes at them and kept telling them that they could not go through. One boy from Ravenclaw spoke up, looking a bit sour._

_"I can't see no gas…"he said, looking around the corridor._

_"That's because it's colorless," I said convincingly exasperated, "but if you want to walk through it, carry on, then we'll have your body as proof for the next idiot who didn't believe us…"_

_The boy glared at me and turned to leave. Slowly, the crowd followed suit. I sighed with relief and glanced over at Luna. She was dreamily humming "Weasley is Our King", not paying the least bit of attention to what was going on. Several minutes passed by, and people continued to believe our story of the Garroting Gas. The corridor was nearly deserted. Suddenly, I saw Umbridge coming, dragging Ron along by his right ear. _

_Quickly, I bellowed the chorus of "Weasley is Our King", praying that Harry or Hermione could hear me. Luna did the same. However, we were quickly cut off by huge Slytherins, who nearly gagged us to death from behind. Ron was taken by another Slytherin, while Umbridge stepped into the office. _

_I tried to break free of the Slytherin's grip, but it was no use. Neville, coming out of nowhere, suddenly tried to get the Slytherin off me, yelling furiously. He was quickly taken by Crabbe. We were shoved roughly into the room. Warrington, the Slytherin who grabbed me, explained to Umbridge why Neville was there. Meanwhile, I tried to kick the shins of a large Slytherin girl, who was pinning me to the wall._

_"Good, good," said Umbridge, in her disgusting voice. "Well, it looks as though Hogwarts will shortly be a Weasley-free zone, doesn't it?"_

_Draco laughed loudly, which made me glare at him. A whole interrogation went on about why Harry was in Umbridge's office. She called in Snape, a few minutes later, for Veritaserum. After that didn't work, Umbridge decided to put the Cruciatus Curse on Harry. That was when Hermione panicked and said she would tell Umbridge what we were really up to. At first, I thought Hermione was really going to tell her, but when she began telling her story, I knew she was playing a trick. Shortly afterward, Harry, Hermione, and Umbridge left to show "the weapon"._

_"Did you hear that, Weasleys?" drawled Draco, after she left. "You're going to be expelled. What a great day that would be, no more of you poor filth lingering about."_

_Ron tried to yell at him, but his gag became tighter. Draco smirked and began twirling his wand. The other Slytherins laughed. _

_"You are so pathetic, Weasley," said Draco, lazily glancing over at Ron. "You and your sister…"_

_I endlessly tried to get out of the grip of the Slytherin girl, but she wouldn't budge. For a while, no one moved. I could see they were all eyeing the wands sticking out of the Slytherins' pockets. Realization dawned on me. We glanced at each other and nodded. In a swift movement, I grabbed the girl's wand and instantly stunned her. _

_Out of the confusion, the other Slytherins loosened their grip on the others, and they made a grab for their wands. They flew a bunch of curses and punches at us. One of the girls scratched me on the cheek, which began to bleed. _

_"Stupefy!" I shouted at her, which made her fall to the ground, stunned. _

_Suddenly, someone knocked me to the ground. It was Draco. He stood over me and pointed his wand at me. He opened his mouth to say a curse, but I was too quick for him. I immediately set the Bat Bogey Hex on him. Soon, his face was covered with flapping things. Ron helped me up. _

_"That was amazing!" he said, in awe. He stared at Draco and laughed. _

_"Thanks," I said, very pleased at what I had done._

_"Come on, we have to help Harry and Hermione." said Ron, beckoning everyone to follow him.

* * *

_

They were greeted by many house-elves, who were squeaking eagerly at them. Draco asked for some left-overs from dinner, and Ginny didn't ask for anything. Truth be told, she actually wasn't that hungry. Draco sat down at the wooden table, and Ginny followed suit. In the mean time, the house-elves already brought Draco his food, which he started eating quickly.

"I thought you were hungry?" he said, after swallowing his food.

Ginny shook her head. "I just wanted to get away from them." she explained.

"Yeah, so did I."

After Draco finished his dinner, the house elves quickly took the empty plate away from him. They looked eager to serve, but he shook his head, indicating that he didn't want anything else. Dobby, one of the house elves, came from the back of the kitchens. He, obviously, had been asleep. At the sight of Draco, he squeaked in shock.

"Young Master Malfoy, sir!" he said, nervously walking up to him.

"Hello, Dobby," he said, dully.

"You know Dobby?" asked Ginny, a bit surprised at this.

"Dobby used to work for the Malfoys, miss, until Harry Potter help free Dobby!" the house-elf squeaked, excitedly.

"Oh," said Ginny.

"Well, we don't need anything else, so you can go to sleep or something." said Draco, obviously irritated by the mention of Harry.

All the house-elves, including Dobby, bowed and scurried away to the back of the kitchen. Ginny could see that there was a small door, probably leading to where all the house-elves slept.

"You've changed." said Ginny.

Draco looked at her and laughed hollowly. "You told me that already." he said.

"I know, but you really have." insisted Ginny. "Do you realize you're having a civilized conversation with a Weasley? I mean, never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I'd be sitting here with a Malfoy, talking like we're friends."

"Never even in my nightmares," added Draco.

Ginny shot Draco a reproachful look. He chuckled and added that he was kidding. Ginny began to grow comfortable of Draco's presence, unlike before where she hated to be near him. Now, she felt as if they were, well, friends. However, a voice of worry lingered in Ginny's mind. What if he tells everyone about Tom? What would I do then?

"You won't tell anyone, will you?" asked Ginny, anxiously.

"No, I won't tell anyone of your crush on the Dark Lord." said Draco, lazily.

Ginny glared at Draco and opened her mouth to say something, but he cut her off.

"Calm down, I was kidding." he said.

Ginny sighed and said, coldly, "You have a very strange sense of humor then."

"I know, it's great, isn't it?" said Draco, smirking.

She shook her head, but she couldn't suppress a small smile from her face.

"Do you remember when I set the Bat Bogey Hex on you?" she asked, a bit amused by the subject and by look of Draco's face. Ginny began giggling, which made Draco scowl even more.

"That was not funny." he said, defensively. But Ginny could have sworn she saw him grin for a second.

"God, you were so horrible." said Ginny, remembering how much she hated him.

"Oh, I wasn't that bad, Weasley."

Ginny snorted and shook her head again. "You were very bad," she said.

For a while, they sat in silence once again. Occasionally, Ginny would giggle quietly at the memory of Draco being hit by the Bat Bogey Hex. Whenever Ginny did giggle, Draco would shoot her a glare. Deciding it was time to change the subject, she started another conversation.

"So what do you plan on doing after Hogwarts?" asked Ginny, "It's your last year."

Draco shrugged and said, "Dunno."

"You don't have _any_ clue what you're going to do?" asked Ginny, earnestly.

"I have a clue, but I don't want to tell you."

Ginny nodded and said quietly, "Death Eater?"

* * *

_Strange how two simple words can change an atmosphere. I wonder if he even wants to become a Death Eater. By the looks of it, he dreads every letter of those two words. But you can never be so sure, in a time of war. There are many disguises that people wear to hide who they truly are. For all I know, this could be a mask. _

_Just like the mask I wear everyday.

* * *

_

"You shouldn't assume about things you know nothing about." he said in a quiet, yet dangerous tone.

Abruptly he stood up, causing Ginny to become a bit startled. However, she was also a bit angry at what he had said. She couldn't help but to open her mouth in her defense.

"And you shouldn't meddle in other people's business." Ginny said, standing up as well.

Draco glared at her, and she returned it coldly.

"Weasley, you're just getting on my nerves."

"Malfoy, you're just being stupid, which is getting on _my_ nerves."

"I don't understand why you care so much if I'm going to be a Death Eater or not."

"Because this is war, Malfoy, in case you haven't notice. What else do you call it when there are battles against each side? And if you choose to be a Death Eater, you're on the wrong side!"

"The wrong side in your opinion!"

"Damn it, Malfoy! You know very well it's the wrong side!"

"Well, your damn Tom Riddle would've been on this side."

At the sound of his name, Ginny stopped. She couldn't take it. She had told Draco about Tom. Her secret was kept for so long, yet it was given away so quickly and carelessly. Now, Draco was about to talk about Tom again.

"I'm leaving," said Ginny, curtly.

Before Draco could say anything, Ginny quickly walked to the portrait and ran down the corridor. She only ran a short distance in the darkness, and it was completely deserted. She slowly came to a stop and took a gasp of air that was choked by a sob. Leaning against the cold, stone wall, she began to cry. Ginny slid down onto the ground, stifling her sobs by firmly pressing her hands over her mouth.

* * *

_Now, even the sound of his name pains my heart so. Why can't I just move on and get over him. But he promised he'd come back for me, and that my love would not be a waste of my time. I believed his promise, and I still do. However, my faith in his promise is not as strong as it was before. _

_When I told Draco of Tom, something inside of me broke away. I don't know what it is, or why it did that. It was a mix between a sigh of relief in my heart and a stab of hurt. I guess a part of me is missing, now. When I began talking to Draco in a civilized manner, I could feel that sense of relief inside of me; the stab of pain was gone. But once Draco mentioned Tom, it came back to me. It was like the piece of pain came back to its puzzle, making my heart hurt even more.

* * *

_

When Ginny had her sobs under control, she sat on the stone ground for a while. There wasn't a single sound in the dark corridor she was in. A few seconds passed, and she started hearing footsteps. Someone must have heard her sobs that were not quite stifled in her hands. For a while, Ginny could not decide whether to leave or stay where she was. She felt weary and did not want to get up

She leaned her head back on the wall and closed her eyes, slowly breathing. Suddenly, she felt someone beside her and quickly opened her eyes. It was Draco, and he was looking down on her. Eventually, he sat down beside her and put his arm around her. As angry as she was at him, she did not push him away. She felt a bit comforted and warmed with his arm around her.

Draco sighed and said, "We're back to where we started. We talk, we argue, someone says something offensive, you leave, you cry, I find you sitting on the ground, I sit next to you, and I comfort you. Sometimes, I think I'm getting too soft."

Ginny smiled weakly and said jokingly, "You'll make a horrible Death Eater, comforting a 'muggle-loving Weasley'."

Draco chuckled and leaned his head on top of Ginny's, to her surprise. Ginny leaned her head on his shoulder. For a moment, it just felt so right and neither of them could object it. Reality didn't matter at the moment. Ginny felt something leave inside of her, but something warm replaced it. She couldn't quite explain the feeling, but she didn't worry much about it.

"We're friends, right?" asked Ginny, looking at Draco.

Draco shrugged and said, "I guess we are. But I don't think everyone else would be happy about this friendship."

"But I have no reputation to ruin from the start. Only you have to worry about that." said Ginny, smiling at the memory of that morning.

"Too true."

Draco stood up. He then held out a hand for Ginny. She grabbed his hand, and he easily pulled her off the ground.

"Well, then—" Ginny began.

"I'll see you around."

"Er—yeah—g'night."

" 'Night."

For a few seconds, neither of them moved. It was a very awkward moment, as if both were waiting for the other to make the first move to leave. Finally, Draco nodded and walked the other direction. Ginny went the opposite direction.

_(A/N: Am I going too fast with the relationship? Oh well. It's okay. Sorry for taking years to update. Review, please.)_


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